Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just high enough for therapy.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
