i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
