I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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