Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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