Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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