So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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