scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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