I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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