He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
