Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
