So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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