Sry I called you an 8
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
