There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
