on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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