All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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