i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
