12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
