If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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