Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
