He is such a slut. More and more my type.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
