They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
