i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just pee around me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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