I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize
