maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
