ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
