is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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