I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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