who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
