so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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