oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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