Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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