wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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