he fucked my hip out of place.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
