this beer tastes like vomit already
My balls are so social today.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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