Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
