normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize