Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
