so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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