is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
