He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
