HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
