perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
