Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
