she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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