hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize