At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
