Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize
