Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
