I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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