happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
