so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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