piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
