i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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