i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize