Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize