did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
