I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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