I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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