I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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