Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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